Sexuality, Marrying Young & Winning the Lottery
If you need a dose of charming conversation with worldwise women, you will want to grab a cup of coffee and a pastry and press the play button. In this serving of Sunday Brunch Stacey (63) and Elizabeth (80) (from our episode "Adults Make Friends”) ask each other questions about sexuality, love, mistakes, and their dreams for the future.
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In this episode
Stacey and Elizabeth Q&A: 02:42
Transcript
Weston (00:07):
Welcome to another Sunday Brunch, brunch buds and coffee clubbers. It's Weston.
Seth (00:14):
And I'm here too. You don't need to know who I am.
Weston (00:19):
(Laughs) Okay. Today we have a really fun-
Seth (00:21):
(Laughs)
Weston (00:22):
We have a really fun episode for you all. We've got some extended, uh, outtakes from our interview with Stacey and Elizabeth.
Seth (00:29):
They're gonna cover some things about sexuality, some things about the lottery, some things about vacations that they want to go on. Definitely tune in for that.
Weston (00:36):
Mm-hmm (affirmative). This is all part of, um, the thing we do our bit where we give people these sort of intimate relationship question cards and ask them to pick a few out and then ask, uh, the questions to each other.
Seth (00:46):
It's definitely interesting seeing what each person picks. I've actually found that kind of, uh, fun to look at 'cause like, you can tell when people are like ready to tackle some heavier topics-
Weston (00:56):
Yeah.
Seth (00:57):
And when people are like, "Let's just ask the jokey stuff."
Weston (00:58):
I always let them pick which questions they ask-
Seth (01:01):
Yeah.
Weston (01:01):
But I'm also always shocked when people pick, the like, hard-hitting questions. I'm like, "You know this is gonna be on the radio, right?"
Seth (01:08):
You're like vulnerable right now, you know that right?
Weston (01:10):
Yeah.
Stacey (01:19):
The fact is, is that I have a dear, sweet bestest friend who I can reach out to with my struggles of being a trans woman, whether it's dating which is, that's a whole other podcast or like-
Stacey (01:40):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:01:40]
Stacey (01:40):
Or the lack of I guess I should say. (Laughs) And trying to navigate that. It's incredibly special. I mean I know that even in times, maybe my hardest times and most struggle times, that you, you know, you know that there's somebody there for you and with you and, uh, it's just, yeah it's amazing, the fact that she just loves and accepts my trans self is pretty, like awesome.
Elizabeth (02:09):
I don't even think about it.
Stacey (02:11):
That's true.
Elizabeth (02:11):
You know.
Stacey (02:11):
That's so true.
Elizabeth (02:13):
To me she's an absolute beautiful woman and I see nothing else and can't even understand anything else.
Stacey (02:19):
(Laughs)
Elizabeth (02:22):
So I...
Seth (02:23):
We love a good respect of the identity.
Stacey (02:26):
Yes! Oh my Gosh.
Elizabeth (02:27):
(Laughs) Right. Right. And yet she has taught me so much about the trans world an- and trans individuals and so that even broadens my spiritual outlook and my acceptance of people and my understanding of people.
Weston (02:42):
Ah, do you wanna start Elizabeth?
Elizabeth (02:45):
I'm gonna give you the complicated one.
Elizabeth (02:48):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:02:48]
Elizabeth (02:49):
A little more, the deeper, more involved, and then we'll get into some light stuff.
Stacey (02:52):
Okay.
Elizabeth (02:53):
In what ways is our outlook on sexuality similar and different?
Stacey (02:58):
Ooh.
Seth (03:02):
That's a big question.
Elizabeth (03:03):
Yes it's a big one.
Stacey (03:05):
Cut, cut, cut.
Stacey (03:12):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:03:12]
Stacey (03:12):
I gotta think about this for a minute.
Seth (03:12):
Yeah you're good. You're, take your time.
Stacey (03:13):
(Laughs) Yes. Okay. I think the way it's similar, just from what I know about you is that, uh, uh, would adventurous be the right term?
Elizabeth (03:23):
Sure.
Stacey (03:23):
Uh, I mean, just. I, I feel like Elizabeth's very open-minded with her sexuality and how that manifests itself. Uh, and so I think that's kind of the same way that I am. I identify as pansexual so, uh, so we're both kind of very, uh, uh... [inaudible 00:03:46]
Elizabeth (03:47):
Open maybe.
Stacey (03:48):
Open. Yeah that's the, yes, very, very open actually yeah. So, so I think we're very similar that way and like God what was the other part? I've already got... (Laughs)
Elizabeth (03:57):
And how are we different?
Stacey (03:58):
And how are we different? Well I'm trying to think if there was anything I ever told you about sexuality wise that made you go, "Oh!"
Stacey (04:07):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:04:09]
Stacey (04:12):
Uh...
Elizabeth (04:13):
I guess we really have not discussed our sexuality a lot-
Stacey (04:17):
Maybe, I mean.
Elizabeth (04:17):
As such.
Stacey (04:19):
No 'cause I, I've dated a trans man and you were quite okay with that. Dated a cis-gendered woman.
Elizabeth (04:27):
Right.
Stacey (04:29):
I mean, yeah, you're just all like, "Oh they're beautiful people." (Laughs)
Elizabeth (04:31):
We're back to love is love.
Seth (04:35):
Yeah, yeah. It seems like the soul is what matters and...
Stacey (04:38):
Exactly. Yes it really is actually. So much so. Yeah, so... Whoa, you did throw a hard one [crosstalk 00:04:47]
Elizabeth (04:47):
I know. [crosstalk 00:04:47] It's out of the way now.
Stacey (04:47):
I need to look for more questions, I...
Stacey (04:49):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:04:49]
Stacey (04:52):
Nah, nah, I'll give you the hard one too, 'cause I think this is probably gonna be a thinker too. What's a mistake you've made that changed your life?
Elizabeth (05:07):
Well, although I've been with my sweetie 40 some odd years, it is my third marriage and I don't consider any of these things a mistake, they're all a growing process, a learning process and so forth but I certainly was not very good at picking out the right kind of partner for me in the earlier years, in the younger years. True of my first husband, that gave me two beautiful children et cetera, he was a naval officer and gone all the time. That was very hard but I guess it may be my choices weren't always, you know, maybe I didn't not know myself well enough.
Seth (05:58):
Yeah.
Elizabeth (05:58):
To uh...
Weston (06:01):
It's hard when you're young to...
Elizabeth (06:02):
You what?
Weston (06:02):
I think it's hard when you're young. Like I think I turned like 22 years-old or 23 years-old and I came out as gay and I was just like, "I don't know anything about myself."
Weston (06:10):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:06:10]
Weston (06:10):
Like, how can that be?
Weston (06:13):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:06:14]
Elizabeth (06:16):
That's right.
Weston (06:17):
Yeah.
Elizabeth (06:17):
That is right and I married very young the first time. I was 20.
Seth (06:22):
Yeah.
Stacey (06:22):
Oh my gosh 20. Wow.
Elizabeth (06:24):
I guess that's not as young as some people. My daughter was born just before I turned 21, um, and yeah, we don't know who we are at that point in our lives.
Stacey (06:34):
No.
Elizabeth (06:34):
If we marry the right person it's just, I think it's just sheer luck at that point.
Stacey (06:39):
Yeah. Yeah.
Weston (06:42):
Um, sometimes we have both people answer the question. If you want to answer for yourself.
Stacey (06:48):
Okay yeah. What's a mistake that changed my life? Well, you know, I'm probably one who doesn't like to maybe label things as mistakes I guess.
Weston (07:01):
Sure.
Elizabeth (07:02):
I think we're both similar on that.
Weston (07:04):
I wouldn't want to either.
Seth (07:05):
Yeah.
Weston (07:05):
I was thinking about how I'd answer this question myself and I have an answer but it also includes, "That's not a mistake."
Weston (07:10):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:07:11]
Seth (07:10):
Yeah. Yeah.
Elizabeth (07:11):
Right.
Seth (07:13):
I have one that I think of as being a mistake but it's only a mistake because I was doing it for... I, I already knew that it was something that was probably gonna be a bad thing to do, um, and I did it anyway out of trying to... It was like a sal-, a self-sacrificial like...
Elizabeth (07:36):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:07:36]
Seth (07:36):
I could make this person's life better by-
Elizabeth (07:38):
Oh yeah.
Seth (07:38):
You know, like, hurting my, my own life. But, and I think that's like the closest I'll ever get to... [crosstalk 00:07:44]
Weston (07:46):
If you like we can move on if you don't want to answer...
Stacey (07:46):
Oh yeah, no, no. I, I'll just say, just really quickly that, you know, some people might wanna classify the fact that I got Harry, uh, back in my previous life and I have an amazing daughter that was probably on some level maybe a mistake, uh. I don't look at it that way in the least bit because, uh, my daughter accepts me totally and she's, just turned 38 years-old and so, yeah. It's, yeah, not that that even would seem to be a, a really bad decision turned out to be a really beautiful one, so yeah.
Weston (08:23):
Aww.
Seth (08:23):
Yeah. There it is.
Stacey (08:25):
Yeah thank you. [inaudible 00:08:25]
Stacey (08:26):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:08:26]
Stacey (08:30):
Young gun, another one I'm okay with my [crosstalk 00:08:32]
Elizabeth (08:31):
Is it my turn?
Stacey (08:33):
It is your turn.
Elizabeth (08:33):
(Laughs)
Elizabeth (08:36):
Okay. What's a fantasy that you haven't shared with me?
Stacey (08:41):
(Laughs)
Seth (08:41):
Ooh.
Elizabeth (08:41):
(Laughs)
Stacey (08:46):
Are we back on the sexuality topic again? (Laughs)
Elizabeth (08:48):
It could be anywhere.
Seth (08:49):
It's got a little jalapeno on it which means it's hot so...
Elizabeth (08:52):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:08:52]
Elizabeth (08:53):
Oh, I see. Woo!
Seth (08:55):
I have no idea if that's true. I just...
Seth (08:56):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:08:57]
Weston (08:58):
I haven't looked at these cards that closely. [crosstalk 00:08:59]
Stacey (08:59):
Oh that is too funny. You're our hot take here actually. Oh my God. What is a fantasy?
Seth (09:06):
Spicy. Spicy.
Stacey (09:16):
(Laughs) I'm trying to think of something else [inaudible 00:09:20]
Stacey (09:20):
Um, I don't know. Well maybe I can say, I guess this is a fantasy, uh, I don't know. I would love to win the lottery. (Laughs) Uh...
Elizabeth (09:29):
Ooh. Do you buy tickets?
Stacey (09:31):
Sometimes. (Laughs)
Elizabeth (09:31):
'Cause I would too but I don't ever buy tickets so...
Elizabeth (09:34):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:09:36]
Weston (09:37):
What would you do if you won?
Stacey (09:39):
Oh, that yeah. I, uh, I've reached, uh, a point in life at 63 where I've had, the journey itself has been stressful, uh, uh, even after transition there's been stressful times of course. Uh, there's all the jobs I've had have been pretty stressful jobs ever since day one, uh, back in my previous life and I'm just tired of it. (Laughs)
Seth (10:06):
Yeah.
Stacey (10:07):
I'm just really tired of it and I, I just, uh...
Seth (10:11):
Capitalism.
Stacey (10:11):
I mean, yes it is and this, you know, there's so many pieces that's been exposed through all our quarantine stuff too. I, I mean it is. It's just the way that it's set up. It's the fact that you can't just stop.
Seth (10:27):
No.
Stacey (10:28):
Unless you are laid off and unemployed but...
Seth (10:31):
And even then, that's such a process that it's not, you're not really done. There's no relaxing at that point.
Stacey (10:36):
No there's not.
Seth (10:37):
It's... It's still just stress.
Stacey (10:38):
I guess I just think that if we. I like to ask people a question like, "If you could do anything that you would want to do without any restrictions?"
Seth (10:46):
I ask people that question too.
Stacey (10:47):
Yes!
Seth (10:47):
I love that question. Yeah.
Stacey (10:48):
Me too actually and it, it has, so it's kind of part of that too, the fact that if you didn't have to worry about money-
Seth (10:54):
Yeah. Yeah.
Stacey (10:55):
What would you do?
Seth (10:55):
It was my, my go-to first date question, was, "If you didn't have to worry about money, what would your job be?"
Stacey (11:00):
Yes.
Seth (11:00):
Like.
Stacey (11:01):
And everybody gives you a, an answer different than what they're doing.
Seth (11:04):
Seriously.
Stacey (11:05):
Don't they?
Seth (11:05):
I have gotten an answer out of every single person except for the ex who I would call the mistake.
Elizabeth (11:12):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:11:13]
Seth (11:12):
No answer to that question was like, "Oh you don't have ambition."
Stacey (11:16):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:11:16]
Seth (11:16):
Uh-oh. Like, uh-oh.
Stacey (11:19):
Oh my gosh. Here's your sign.
Seth (11:21):
Have some dreams! Please have some dreams, like (Laughs)
Seth (11:24):
But yeah, like, what, what would you, if you had to answer those questions?
Stacey (11:31):
I mean. I mean yeah. I just did. I would, I mean, I'm at a point where I just wanna be doing trans advocacy work all the time-
Seth (11:36):
That's beautiful.
Stacey (11:36):
And I, I do trans trainings too and trans consulting kind of [inaudible 00:11:42]
Elizabeth (11:42):
Which is exactly what she should be doing.
Seth (11:46):
That's beautiful.
Stacey (11:46):
It is actually.
Elizabeth (11:47):
She's not only good at it but she has this deep understanding of course.
Stacey (11:51):
Yeah which I've been, well being here's given me all, amazing opportunities to...
Elizabeth (11:55):
Well having been at the Q center, I don't think we could count how many parents she has been able to reassure and help understand their trans child.
Stacey (12:07):
Mm-hmm (affirmative) Yeah.
Elizabeth (12:08):
And you talk about a valuable thing.
Seth (12:10):
Yeah, no kidding.
Elizabeth (12:10):
You know.
Stacey (12:12):
I mean yeah it goes back to that, the fact how the chance meeting gave me that opportunity to be able, when a family would call and say we love our child but we have no clue what this is and...
Seth (12:24):
Yeah.
Stacey (12:25):
And all of a sudden, um, I could say, "Oh my God. My journey. I can actually help, you know, others." So, yeah. So that, that's kind of cool yeah. Awesome. Much, very much a blessing. So, so I am playing that, uh, win for life lottery every so often. One you get a 1,000 dollars a week.
Elizabeth (12:41):
(Laughing)
Seth (12:41):
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Stacey (12:41):
For the rest of your life.
Seth (12:41):
Like, could you imagine?
Stacey (12:41):
Oh.
Seth (12:41):
A 1,000 dollars a week.
Weston (12:43):
That'd be nice. That'd be pretty comfy.
Stacey (12:49):
That would be amazing but uh, we've gotta start playing.
Stacey (12:51):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:12:52]
Seth (12:51):
Yeah.
Stacey (12:56):
Yeah the first thing is you've got to play. (Laughs)
Elizabeth (12:56):
That's right.
Seth (12:59):
I did think of another version of this question and that might be a little easier-
Stacey (13:02):
Okay.
Seth (13:02):
That isn't, uh, like sexual, or sexuality based.
Stacey (13:05):
Okay.
Seth (13:07):
What would your dream adventure be, for you two to take? I don't know if you've talked about this-
Stacey (13:12):
Oh.
Seth (13:12):
But if you haven't-
Stacey (13:12):
No we haven't.
Elizabeth (13:12):
No.
Stacey (13:14):
Oh.
Elizabeth (13:15):
You'll have to give me back a little youth.
Stacey (13:17):
(Laughs)
Elizabeth (13:17):
I mean. (Laughs)
Seth (13:19):
Sure we can go with, like, ideal circumstance like with the previous question.
Elizabeth (13:23):
Yeah.
Seth (13:23):
Like, if you were in your in your ideal circumstances, what, where would you go, what you do for your adventure?
Elizabeth (13:27):
Oh.
Seth (13:28):
This fantasy adventure, right?
Stacey (13:30):
Oh I've got a good one.
Elizabeth (13:31):
Go for it.
Stacey (13:32):
We would go to Tibet.
Elizabeth (13:33):
To where?
Stacey (13:33):
Tibet.
Elizabeth (13:36):
Ooh that'd be wonderful.
Stacey (13:37):
Yeah. (Laughs)
Seth (13:37):
There you go.
Elizabeth (13:41):
Yeah. Yeah that would be wonderful.
Stacey (13:42):
Wouldn't that be amazing?
Elizabeth (13:43):
Yes.
Stacey (13:44):
I've always wanted to go there-
Elizabeth (13:46):
Yes.
Stacey (13:46):
But just because of, I think that land there's probably incredibly energetically incredible.
Elizabeth (13:55):
It's very light energy.
Stacey (13:55):
I guess I've just repeated myself. Yeah.
Elizabeth (13:55):
Spiritual energy.
Stacey (13:55):
Yeah. I think that'd be really stunning to see.
Elizabeth (13:58):
That would be wonderful. Absolutely.
Stacey (13:59):
Or... Uh, pyramids.
Elizabeth (14:05):
Yeah. Egypt always jumps in my mind.
Stacey (14:07):
Yeah I know, you've always wanted to do that.
Elizabeth (14:09):
I've always wanted to go to Egypt. I'm sure I had past lives there. I had to, as much as I'm drawn to it.
Seth (14:15):
Sure. Yeah.
Stacey (14:16):
Okay. This is a good one. What do you think was the best gift you've given me?
Elizabeth (14:22):
The best gift I've given you...
Seth (14:24):
I like this 'cause you can get confirmation here. That's great.
Elizabeth (14:28):
Well. It, I, and it's a shared one. I have to say love. I mean I don't...
Stacey (14:33):
Aww.
Elizabeth (14:34):
It doesn't have to be a material thing does it?
Stacey (14:36):
No. No.
Elizabeth (14:37):
I think the love and understanding and acceptance that we share is the greatest gift that we have.
Stacey (14:43):
Yeah. Yeah.
Elizabeth (14:45):
I really do. I know it all sounds corny that...
Seth (14:49):
It. Yeah but like corny has its moments right?
Elizabeth (14:50):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:14:50]
Weston (14:50):
This whole podcast is super corny.
Seth (14:52):
It's a whole thing. It's so [crosstalk 00:14:54] (Laughing)
Weston (14:52):
We're really into it.
Stacey (14:52):
Yes. Yes.
Weston (14:56):
So far in every single interview we've done, the people have told each other they love each other in some...
Elizabeth (15:00):
Aww.
Seth (15:01):
Yeah. It's always been, it's, it's the perfect soundbite too from like a purely, like...
Seth (15:09):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:15:09]
Seth (15:09):
It's so beautiful to just be like, "bam, bam, bam." There we go, a nice little clean "I love you."
Stacey (15:12):
Yeah let's just clip that.
Seth (15:12):
"Aw I love you too." Yeah.
Stacey (15:16):
Do you know but one of the sweet and lovely thing, I mean, y'all had this idea for this podcast and that's what's coming out of it.
Elizabeth (15:22):
Yes. Yes.
Stacey (15:23):
Is, because it is all about love. That's...
Seth (15:25):
Yeah.
Stacey (15:26):
That's, it's very, it's all about [crosstalk 00:15:26]
Weston (15:26):
It's been really affirming and wonderful.
Seth (15:27):
Yeah.
Weston (15:28):
I love, I love listening to these stories because it's really, it's about people sitting down and talking about how much they mean to each other and it's just...
Seth (15:36):
I've had like the biggest smile on my face this entire time.
Seth (15:38):
(Laughing) [crosstalk 00:15:40]
Seth (15:40):
The masks kind of stuck for that reason.
Stacey (15:41):
Yeah, that is true (Laughs)
Seth (15:42):
But I'm just like, I'm grinning from ear to ear.
Stacey (15:42):
Aww.
Seth (15:43):
This is so fun.
Stacey (15:47):
Aww.
Elizabeth (15:47):
Well we can get caught up in all this wild, crazy negative stuff going all around us, swirling all around us and of course the news media promotes it but I really honestly believe that there's much more love than there is hate or fear or confusion and all those other things are just an absence of love, you know.
Seth (16:05):
Yeah. Yeah.
Elizabeth (16:06):
And so, for some reason it's a tr- tri-, a trite, silly thing to talk about but I think that that's all that really is real.
Stacey (16:17):
Hmm-mm-hmm (affirmative)
Seth (16:17):
Yeah.
Elizabeth (16:17):
Is that.
Weston (16:17):
I think it's a really important thing to talk about.
Stacey (16:17):
Yes.
Seth (16:17):
Yeah.
Stacey (16:18):
Yes definitely. Yeah.
Seth (16:18):
Well that's fantastic.
Stacey (16:25):
(Laughs) Oh my gosh. Oh thank...
Weston (16:26):
I loved it.
Stacey (16:26):
Oh my gosh. Thank you, y'all made this so easy and so lovely thank you.
Elizabeth (16:29):
Well this is, yes.
Weston (16:41):
All right. That is this Sunday Brunch everybody.
Seth (16:45):
Thank you so much for tuning in. We appreciate your patronage.
Weston (16:49):
If you wanna hear more from Stacey, she was just featured in an amazing documentary called Who's On Top? Which is narrated by George Takei. Ah, there's no release date for that yet because of Covid but you can find out more information by Googling "Who's On Top documentary."
Seth (17:05):
I would look out for it in early 2021, would be a good estimate.
Weston (17:11):
Um, and also we've got a nice little plug here from Stacey.
Stacey (17:21):
Hi, this is Stacey. If you'd like to find out more about me and what I am up to these days, you can go to my website Staceyrice.com, that's Stacey with an E-Y or you can swing by my Instagram page @staceyricepbx. Hope to hear from you soon. Thank you.
Seth (17:40):
I haven't... We have to say.
Weston (17:41):
Oh we have to say, we have to say "Have a good Sunday."
Seth (17:49):
Have a good Sunday.
Weston (17:51):
Are we gonna do a weird [inaudible 00:17:53]
Seth (17:52):
I have to mock you for it every time.
Weston (17:54):
(Laughs)
Seth (17:55):
Have a good Sunday!
Weston (17:57):
(Laughs) Thanks everyone. Have a great Sunday.
Credits
Executive Producer: Weston Anderson
Writer: Weston Anderson
Audio Engineer and Editor: Seth Goshorn
Hosts: Seth Goshorn, Weston Anderson
Storytellers: Stacey Rice and Elizabeth
Music: Whispering through - Asura
Air Hockey Saloon - Chris Zabriskie